Sitting here wondering what to… do. Normally our weeks are carefully scheduled routines with little variance for fun activities outside the home because we always need to save our money. However, for five whole minutes anyway, money is not a major concern. So now what? The day so far has been reserved for housecleaning and indoor chores but I have been feeling restless for a couple of weeks.
My mood is light even with the sore thumb. I managed to cut the tip off of my right thumb on Monday with the meat slicer at work. It bled so badly that I had to go home early but it ended up being a superficial wound. I essentially shaved off the very tip and part of the thumbprint. Still, it aches like a motherfucker. Also it turns out that it’s my space bar thumb so that makes typing a little tricky. I am glad it wasn’t worse. I spend many hours a week operating that thing; I know how dangerous it can be.
I’ve had much on my mind and there has been some shifting in a few important relationships. I’m trying to change focus today though onto fun future plans and art. I promised myself I would take a few photos this weekend even if I hated the results. I don’t know how I’ve gone this long without holding a real camera. I’ve been attached to a lens since I can remember. I’ve always taken photographs of everything, even as a young child. My parents gifted me a camera once and from that point on much of my allowance was spent on film and developing the images. I collected cameras – new, old and antiques. I have boxes of old film negatives and prints. Then I discovered digital and went insane. I took thousands of photos as a kid and then quickly surpassed those numbers as an adult. There are times when I wish I knew just how many photos I have taken in this lifetime. It would be a crazy number.
Then I stopped picking the camera up. Photography became unimportant. As did writing, web design and all other art projects. It was one of many telltale signs that the depression was kicking my ass: I stopped photographing life.
I’d really like to change that this weekend.